I Don't Understand
by ShadowFire52
Summary: Two words. Two smple words that he said and Alfred doesn't get it. How do you get something perverted from entertin me? A story in which Katyusha has to eplain this to a not understanding Alfred over a chat room. Oneshot.


**This argument was between me and my sis. We were going by our cosplays at the end. I'm Alfred and she's Katyusha (it may be spelt wrong and I don't care.) I typed this all in one day. And the most annoying thing I must say was typing text and made me realize wh I stopped talking in text, it's so hard to do and very annoying. And the online argument is almost word for word. So I don't own Hetalia and technically own the plot.**

**This is dedicated to my sis.**

**Onward to the story!**

**- - -X X X X- - -**

3:56 PM- - -

He was bored. No scratch that. He was beyond bored to where watching a fly hit a light bulb would be more entertaining. Arthur was at work and Matthew had left to visit his family back in Canada and there was no way in hell he was calling Francis.

Alfred groaned and looked around the room before spotting his laptop sitting on his dresser. He sat up and slid of his bed before grabbing it and going back to the bed and sitting back down.

"Maybe Mattie decided to get on!" he said to himself as he brought up a window and signed into the chat room.

"_Ah welcome back the __World Academy__ chat room =Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=!_" the computer greeted allowed causing the American to grin.

"Now...who else is on I wonder..." he mumbled and went to the online list. The list was really long considering it had every student name from the school on it. But Alfred had organized the lists in categories for his computer. Awesome Hero Friends, Stupid Annoying People And Dumb Commie Ivan, and Other People.

The first one he opened was his friends list. He scanned the list to see if any of the dots next to the names were green. Not one. He gave a snort and went to the other people list. He scanned that list and found one green dot.

"Ivan's big sis huh?" Alfred muttered out loud "I know her pretty well...eh why not."

"_=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3= has sent a join message to +Watchful+Katy+._" the computer announced.

_+Watchful+Katy+: Oh hi Alfred._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Hiiiiiiii! Guess wut?**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: What?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I'm rlly bored! U shod entertain me!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: . . . . . . . You do know how wrong that sounds right?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: ? How'd u take dat wrng?**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Process what you just said through your gutter mind._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: -rereads-...I still dun get it.**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Entertain me._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I rlly dun get it. ^^**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Never mind...Today must be a slow day for you._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Oh c'moooooooooooooooooooon Tell meh wut I said! **_

_**-there is no response-**_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: U cnt die b4 u expln to meh!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: xDxD I have Spanish homework Alfred. Ttyl slow Alfred._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: But- But- I'm not slooooooooow! TELL ME! !**_

5:10 PM to 7:15 PM- - -

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: FINISH UR HOMEWORK AND TELL MEH! O**_

Alfred grumbled at the computer. How was that so perverted? It wasn't! What could she be getting from him saying that. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind before bringing up and RPG to play while he waits.

9:33 PM- - -

Alfred's computer chimed and he paused the game and brought the chat room back up to see that Katyusha had responded to him finally. He'd try to get the answer from her. Even if it took all night. He had snacks and drinks under his bed anyways.

_+Watchful+Katy+: Why are you so upset?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: -flails- I. WANNA. KNOW.**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: It's not that big of a deal Alfred. Calm down._

Alfred just threw the roll of bottlecap candies across the room at that. She wasn't going to tell him was she? Now he was irritated.

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Dun make meh go bottlecap ninja on u!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: All I said was that the word entertain could be taken in a different way. No big deal._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I've read wut I put like a 1,000,000,000 times! ! Tell meh how it cld B taken!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: xD That sounded a little perverted too._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: K I get that one but expln teh 1st! !**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Think about what you said...in a perverted sense._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: -thinks-...AUGH! I dun get it!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Doing IT. "Entertain me"? Honestly? Did you not catch that at all?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I still dun undrstd! Wut do Francis' happy times have 2 do with entertainment?**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: It's so simple. And so minor. It shouldn't be hard to figure out!_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: It makes nu sense! All I said was entertain me!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Think from Francis' view! What could someone do to entertain him? With how he is, what would he think of?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I dunnu! Wine! Tht's it! Get him wine and uh...make fun of Artie! Truthfully I dun nooooooow!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Oh my word...I'm done. I quit._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: NONONONONONONONONO! !**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: I don't know how to explain it if you don't get it at all! I quit._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I tryd thnkn perverted but teh wrst I cld get was a lap dance!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: . . . . ._

_+Watchful+Katy+: Forget it. It's not that big of a deal. It wasn't even that funny. Plus I'm tired. Nightie night._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: But- But- But-...I wanna knooow...fine.**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: I told you. It wasn't even that funny._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I'm determined! I know! I'll ask Francis, Mattie, and Gilbert! They gotta know!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Oh my freakin' word. I meant sex could be a form of entertainment in a perverted sense. Which is why I said it sounded perverted when you said "entertain me". It's simple and not that big of a deal. Give it a rest._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: ARGH! I dun undrstnd...maybe I'm just outta pervyness today.**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: -bashes head repeatedly against wall-_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Whaaaaaaaaa? I'm not an idiot y'know!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: I beg to differ._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I am not! The hero is not an idiot...**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Katyusha disagrees at the moment._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: ! I'm not an idiot!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: Matthew's smarter. And cuter. Way better. :D I like him so much better._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Who's dat?**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: An awesome guy who is often mistaken for his clueless and louder brother Alfred._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Hey! I'm not clueless!**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: I said MORE clueless._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: I repet. Not clueless.**_

_+Watchful+Katy+: More than Matthew._

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: Not as awesome as me.**_

"_+Watchful+Katy+ has left the chat room._" the computer said and Alfred just glared.

10:24 PM- - -

Alfred just grumbled as he exited the chat room and brought up the RPG game again and started to play it again when the window opened up

_~*ShyMaple*~: Hey Al. How're you doing?_

_**=Sup3r_H3r0_Dud3=: U r nut kooler or smarter or awesomer than meh. G'night Mattie.**_

Alfred typed quickly and shut the computer before sliding it under his bed and getting under the sheets as he plotted about how he was going to get the information he needed from the Ukrainian teen.

Matthew stared at the computer in complete confusion wondering what had happened earlier with his brother. His polar bear climb up on the bed and that at the screen for a bit before pointing at Alfred's name and saying "Weird."

"He is Kumajime, but he's my brother. What can I do eh?" Matthew said and hugged the bear.

"Who?"

The Canadian teen set the polar bear down on the bed and pushed him to the other side from where he was sitting "Matthew...you sleep over there..."

**- - -X X X X- - -**

**This argument is still goin' on between us...=A**

**And I still don't understand...**

**So tell me,**

**whatcha think?**

**Please Review!**

**clicky!**


End file.
